I saw this photo on my friend Tabitha’s webpage (hernewlove.blogspot.com) She’s a freelance photographer who does everything from engagement shoots to travel photography. She gave up her day job as a PR agent for one of the big companies here in the Philippines to take up photography and follow her bliss. I asked her once, if she was having a hard time getting clients. She said, yes it was hard, but she wanted it and now she’s reaping the fruits of her hard work. She put herself out there, doing shoots for her friends, unknown couples and built her portfolio and writing on the side if there are no clients. She now works part time for Asian Traveler Magazine as a contributing photographer. On the 15th till the 17th, she’s off to Bohol to shoot and the next day to Ifugao region to shoot an engaged couple. At the end of the day, she comes home with her new adventures to someone who loves her, willing to wait for her because he also found his own bliss.
She found her bliss and she’s willing to fight for that.
I am not jealous of her. I consider her my best friend and I can talk to her about everything under the sun. I am very happy for her because I knew how hard she worked for this, how she fought for what she wanted, how she prayed for what ever blessings she’s having now. She did it on her own without asking for any favors. I was there throughout her adventure; from looking for household items that resemble letters to putting up ads on sulit.com. She’s also been there for me all throughout these years, making me laugh or just being a shoulder to cry on. She’s a great person and I’m happy she found her bliss.
Because of her, I am inspired to find my bliss. I am inspired to find myself alone without the worry of being ridiculed or laughed at by anyone. In my family, it is not the norm to find your own bliss, it’s always what our parents wanted. It was to work for a big company that will pay big money, but I do not want that. I wasn’t happy when they wanted me to apply in big companies and I felt more lonely when I didn’t get in one. I realized I have 3 more demons that I am ready to let go of — being scared about what other people think, being jealous of what other people have and comparing myself to others.
In a society where people always look at you from head to foot, this is hard to do. But I am willing to do it, for the sake of my own life. I lessened my mocking attitude and I just want to go with the flow. I remember my friend Macky always said (May he rest in peace) “GO WITH THE FLOW TRAX. IT WILL BRING YOU THERE, TO WHATEVER YOU’RE SEARCHING FOR”
Tomorrow is the official start of my new work. The work is unfamiliar to me, but I will take up on the challenge. I promised myself that on my first complete paycheck, I will pay my mother and my bills, and pack my bag to go to the beach for the weekend. It is my reward for myself for wanting this change in my life, also for not getting drunk and
end up sleeping with someone else just to cover up the hurt I am feeling (yay for this!). I always find calmness at the beach, for me to take some time off for myself. It was always a goal of mine for the year of 2012, to go to somewhere new every month, to travel more and see the world with my own eyes, having no itinerary and just being spontaneous.
I am in search of finding my own bliss. I feel that it is not in Manila,
where people always judge you (my mother instilled that to me– erase erase) I feel it is somewhere else, somewhere that my heart is beating for.
Wish me luck on my journey. To whoever is reading this, I wish you luck with yours as well. And maybe, we can meet sometime, somewhere in the middle, somewhere beautiful and exotic and exchange notes on the adventures we had encountered.
Find your bliss in the mundane, the simple, the quiet, the unfamiliar. May it be in the water that touches your feet or the light that catches your eye when you take photos or maybe it is in someone. and never, ever let it go.